JUST COVER THEM UP, AT LEAST!

Oh my God I hate THEM. They're so gross. It's not right if you can cover them up, you need to. Uh! When men have them out it's like I can taste it, when I see them. Yuck! I hate it when they're left out like propped up and arched. The worst is if I touch them and if it's hard or long. GROSSS!

One time this guy I was dating wanted me to suck on it but that was the last time I ever talked to him. I don't do that. I hate the toes, the shape everything.

-B.B.

DAD!

Dad please stop. Mother is worried about you. Your dragging our good name through the mud. People are starting to talk. I've heard things. These commercials, are they some kind of Midlife crisis? A cry for help. Please just come back to your meaty throne.

--B. Prince.