Dad please stop. Mother is worried about you. Your dragging our good name through the mud. People are starting to talk. I've heard things. These commercials, are they some kind of Midlife crisis? A cry for help. Please just come back to your meaty throne.
LISTEN 2 ME. If you type one more thing about Mittens the Kitten, I will crash on you. No one wants to read your blog. It's boring. Least of all me. God, I can see you typing it right now. There's a whole internet of interesting things out there. And you're not contributing with your diatribes on toilet tissue and fridge magnets. I don't care about how broken "cherished" ceramic figurines made you "really" feel. Your hands are cold and I get chills when you type. I also know about the porn. 001110101
Yo gee, stop your peepn'. Its out of control yo. You clown' if you think I'm down with the Hubble. You think I can't see you? I feel your peeps up in my grill. NASA! Yeah I know your name, stop playn'.
What are you doing posting our business on this website? Are you out of your mind? This is just like when you thought I was a Diabetic and I awoke to you pricking my finger so you could check my insulin levels. Your bedside manner is as good as your Gay-dar. You think Arnold Schwarzenegger is Gay because he has an accent. Me and George have been friends since we were kids. But whenever I defend my self you have a snappy comeback. Like if I say "I wouldn't like kissing a guy because it would be all weird with the facial hair." You use my shaving twice a day against me. I like to being well groomed, it doesn't mean I'm gay. Or when you found us in bathroom. You're the one always complaining about the leak. WE HAD TO lock the door because George and I had to lie on the floor as we took turns twisting the nuts off. Checking out someones pipes dose not make them gay. Nether does pink pants or my pants with the zipper down the back. That stuff is just cool clothes from my youth. Just because you THINK without proof, that I check out guys packages does not make me GAY either. Just stop it honey I love you. Only you. I'll be home a little late me and the guys are going for happy hour. It's Cosmopolitan Mondays.
WATCH THE NBA. That's all I have to say Cricket lovers. We don't got no weak ass terms like "Grubber" "Pie Thrower" or "Maiden" In America we say that stuff if we're talkn' trash. And it's like whoever gots the most points in a month. That's like something my little niece would say. "I got 234 points" "No I got 2 hundred billion points." B-ball all day all night. peace.
Why do you have all these pink pants? It's a big sign you're gay. I had a dream last night that you were kissing your best friend George and no one would listen to me. They just laughed. But I know some things going on. And I don't want to have to get my Tarot Cards read, to find it out. I just want you to be honest with me, so I can leave you, and you can be gay. We just got married so now would be a good time to tell me before I get that spot on my ring finger. I knew you were gay before we got married but I didn't have this dream yet. I'm even more sure that you're gay, then the night you proposed. You are the most disgustingly gay Husband I've ever had. Stop being gay FOR REAL!
