O P I N I O N E D!

Walmart #1920

2010-02-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

This lady was chatting it up while scanning the milk. I made a joke about Facebook and she says "What's your status on Godbook." She paused sacking my groceries, all serious. I said , all serious, "I'm too busy checking my Fagmail, to know."

-Pete

BILLLLLY NOOOOO!

2009-05-20T08:33:00.000-07:00

You A@$@#ole. That was my Brother.
You *@#$ I'll bite the #$%@ out of you next time!
I can taste you with my antenna. And soon you will taste defeat!

--Posted from Antranslation.com by user: SEXYthorax-107

YOU BIT ME!

2009-05-20T08:27:00.000-07:00

Take that!

--Guy who owns the shoe that's crushing you.

R4L-VRS

2009-05-06T11:35:00.000-07:00

Dude if your ridding around in your Mitsubishi Spider convertible with another guy. That's gay. You are gay, and him too. The two of you in the sun smiling and talking, wind in your gay hair, "G" "A" "Y" gay. That tekno music: gay. Convertibles are for lovers. If you not in love then keep the convertible up. You might as well have convertible pants. Get out of my lane with that.You've got my gay-dar stamp of DISapproval. It's not "Homo Observation Vertical", its "High Occupancy."

--HOV lane.

MY MOURNING ROUT

2008-06-01T07:08:00.000-07:00

This morning the traffic report said. "East bound 183 closed due to a truck that lost a load of glue, coyote seen fleeing the scene." What has happened to all my childhood heroes? They're still trapped by their violent behavior. It's crazy. Daffy Duck joining the NRA, or Sam joining Green Peace. For my generation, nothing compares to Bugs Bunny's death. (Beta-carotene overdose it was right in front of us the whole time) I guess they're people just like us; full of contradiction.
--JK

JUST COVER THEM UP, AT LEAST!

2008-05-12T15:00:00.000-07:00

Oh my God I hate THEM. They're so gross. It's not right if you can cover them up, you need to. Uh! When men have them out it's like I can taste it, when I see them. Yuck! I hate it when they're left out like propped up and arched. The worst is if I touch them and if it's hard or long. GROSSS!

One time this guy I was dating wanted me to suck on it but that was the last time I ever talked to him. I don't do that. I hate the toes, the shape everything.

-B.B.

DAD!

2008-05-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

Dad please stop. Mother is worried about you. Your dragging our good name through the mud. People are starting to talk. I've heard things. These commercials, are they some kind of Midlife crisis? A cry for help. Please just come back to your meaty throne.

--B. Prince.

YOUR BLOG SUCKS

2008-04-29T14:31:00.000-07:00

LISTEN 2 ME. If you type one more thing about Mittens the Kitten, I will crash on you. No one wants to read your blog. It's boring. Least of all me. God, I can see you typing it right now. There's a whole internet of interesting things out there. And you're not contributing with your diatribes on toilet tissue and fridge magnets. I don't care about how broken "cherished" ceramic figurines made you "really" feel. Your hands are cold and I get chills when you type. I also know about the porn. 001110101

--your PC.

GET UP OUT MY GASEOUS VAPER

2008-04-29T13:53:00.000-07:00

Yo gee, stop your peepn'. Its out of control yo. You clown' if you think I'm down with the Hubble. You think I can't see you? I feel your peeps up in my grill. NASA! Yeah I know your name, stop playn'.

--M2-9 Nebula, OUT!

Honey I can't stop...BECAUSE I'M NOT GAY!

2008-04-28T12:48:00.000-07:00

What are you doing posting our business on this website? Are you out of your mind? This is just like when you thought I was a Diabetic and I awoke to you pricking my finger so you could check my insulin levels. Your bedside manner is as good as your Gay-dar. You think Arnold Schwarzenegger is Gay because he has an accent. Me and George have been friends since we were kids. But whenever I defend my self you have a snappy comeback. Like if I say "I wouldn't like kissing a guy because it would be all weird with the facial hair." You use my shaving twice a day against me. I like to being well groomed, it doesn't mean I'm gay. Or when you found us in bathroom. You're the one always complaining about the leak. WE HAD TO lock the door because George and I had to lie on the floor as we took turns twisting the nuts off. Checking out someones pipes dose not make them gay. Nether does pink pants or my pants with the zipper down the back. That stuff is just cool clothes from my youth. Just because you THINK without proof, that I check out guys packages does not make me GAY either. Just stop it honey I love you. Only you. I'll be home a little late me and the guys are going for happy hour. It's Cosmopolitan Mondays.

--Your Husband

CRICKET- NOT A SPORT

2008-04-28T10:48:00.000-07:00

WATCH THE NBA. That's all I have to say Cricket lovers. We don't got no weak ass terms like "Grubber" "Pie Thrower" or "Maiden" In America we say that stuff if we're talkn' trash. And it's like whoever gots the most points in a month. That's like something my little niece would say. "I got 234 points" "No I got 2 hundred billion points." B-ball all day all night. peace.

--2 ur face

STOP BEING GAY!

2008-04-28T07:28:00.000-07:00

Why do you have all these pink pants? It's a big sign you're gay. I had a dream last night that you were kissing your best friend George and no one would listen to me. They just laughed. But I know some things going on. And I don't want to have to get my Tarot Cards read, to find it out. I just want you to be honest with me, so I can leave you, and you can be gay. We just got married so now would be a good time to tell me before I get that spot on my ring finger. I knew you were gay before we got married but I didn't have this dream yet. I'm even more sure that you're gay, then the night you proposed. You are the most disgustingly gay Husband I've ever had. Stop being gay FOR REAL!

--Your Wife

I NEVER TRUSTED THAT GUY

2008-04-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

Even though we worked together. I knew something was up when he left his car running and ran into the Burger King. See you in 5 to 10 buddy.
--R. M.

I HATE THE MORNING

2008-04-25T13:10:00.000-07:00

--1st off the waking up. Hate it. --2nd: that taste in my mouth, just want to skip it. Main reason for getting out of bed. --Hate waking up hot. --Hate waking up next to what's her name. --If any part of my body is asleep. Dam it. --Out of milk really really hate that. --The sun. -- #1 reason for hating mornings: Crying so hard in the shower I keep dropping the soap.

--T.J.

GET RID OF SADDLE BAGS HERE!

2008-04-24T10:44:00.000-07:00

Now I've had this job for 5 years hosting this show. (pictured left) Equintainment has taken off but this working relationship has to change. At times it can be demeaning, like when I hear "WILLLLBERRR" 5 times a day. My dressing room smells like manurer and the chit-chat with Leon is great, but it's a little one sided. Look Frankly he's an idiot. I could host this whole damed show by myself. I don't need Leon standing next to me preening. I'm funner and more likable when he's not around. His time has come. He's in a race with a broken leg and we all can smell the glue factory of retirement from here. I'm ready. The audience wants it. Just tape that mic to my hoof and get Leon and his bad tie off my show.

--Applejacks

TOM STOP LOOKING OVER MY CUBICAL

2008-04-24T10:16:00.000-07:00

I hate it when you do that. You're not the boss, its not your company. Stop spying on me. And no I wont turn it down. It's not even that loud. I didn't invent the cubical. I can't shut the door. It wasn't my idea for it to be a permanent convertible top office. If you don't like it, bring head phones to work and listen to your own stuff. But I can't enjoy my porn without the sound. You repressed monkey's ass. KEEP your eyes to yourself or I'll punch you out.

--The guy in the cubical you're spying on!

SCHOOLED

2008-04-24T09:24:00.000-07:00

You know what I hate? I saw it this morning. A guy making a power move in a school zone. I mean come on. We're all going the same speed. I can see when we are all going 40 in a 35 and you have to vier into an empty lane, practically brushing the dust off the bumper of the car you're cutting off, just to keep going at 60mph. But when you do the same thing in a school zone you look like an idiot. You're only going 1/4 mph faster then the car beside you. Why!?

--G.T. Lorelle

Valero Guy YOU ARE CREEPY!

2008-04-24T08:46:00.000-07:00

Why the hell are you tying to pick up women at the Valero on Hurst & Coit? Its creepy not hot. That "Fill it up and Top it off" line is not funny. I saw you up there last week with a Tux on and a copy of Pride and prejudice under your arm. Your not fooling anyone. The gas station is the LAST place a women wants to be picked up. It's kind of scary being out of your car all alone. ESPESUALLY when you creep up from behind only wearing a red speedo. I know the Olympics are coming up but, NO I do not want to see your "torch", and NO you can NOT touch my "rings". LEAVE ME ALONE!

--Fed Up Female

SHAVE!

2008-04-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

GOD, I hate your beard. Its like itchy when you kiss and it's got stuff in it. Please shave.

--Your Girlfriend

DEAR Seat 12-a

2008-04-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

I remember you frowning at us with your large brow twisting around and giving us those hateful looks. Well my son does have an ailment not that it's any of your business. That's why we are moving to the dessert. He has over productive mucus glands so his ear pressure builds up and he is in pain. The tubes in his ears have given some relief but the pressure in cabin was too much for him and my pore baby was crying because it was like his head was being turned inside out. You're an ass hole.

--MOM

SHUT YOUR KID UP 13-B!

2008-04-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Shut You Kid UP in seat 13-b! This is a flight AA 544 to God Dam Las Vegas what the hell are you bringing a kid to Las Vegas for. I'm going to post this shit on that Opinioned Blog as soon as we land. AAAAAAHHHHH! Your self you brat. Just give him that God dam book about farm animals he dropped. He obliviously reaching for it. Jesus! Shut UP! It's been 30min of screeching. He must have some diseases. SHUT UP! GOD. I'm going crazy. I just want to gamble and have a cool weekend God.

--Seat 12-a

Mailman or Woman Pick up my Dam Netflix.

2008-04-23T07:59:00.000-07:00

What the crap! Come on Mailman or woman pick up my dam Netflix. I put them right in the mail slot for you to pick up. For Christ sakes, they're at elbow level just extend your arm. When I come home I f!#%$ing freak out about that shit I cracked my laptop when I threw down my bag. It's like what the f!@#! Now you owe me for wasting money on movies I'm not getting AND for a laptop.

This hasn't happened since that women Mailman had that nervous fit because she was afraid she was going to get rapped on my street. Would a rapist subscribe to Netflix? It's not like they've got porn or whatever ( just that weak stuff that tries to be funny but it's not and they have plots and stuff and lots of chi-chies but no, you know, real junk.) But it's pissing me off when all day I'm thinking about getting out of this desk job and coming home to my Universal Soldier: The Judgment on Wednesday. But I come home to those Netflix envelopes sticking out of the mail box like a tung, MOCKING ME. Now I'm not going to be able to watch Van Dame's return to the cyborg story line until Thursday. Dam it, pick up my Netflix! It's already Tuesday.

-J. Marshal